Image
File
i 10
LN
Have an idea for a story?
M humour@theotherpress.ca
humour // no. 17
¢ How to practice for your road test while
quarantined at home
¢ How to wear a mask when out in public
..and that's everything!
How to practice for your road test
while quarantined at home
» Every good driver knows how to flip the finger
EG Manilag
Staff Writer
f you were or are planning on taking
your road test, you probably have already
realized that right now is not exactly
the ideal time for the quiz. You can still
practice though! Here are some tips on how
to get ready for your eventual road test.
Practice a speech for your driving
instructor
Why stress yourself practicing behind
the wheel to get that license when you
can just talk your way out of it? Just write
something persuasive, utilitarian, and
emotional. That will definitely get the
instructor hooked. And they might say
something along the lines of “great job and
great speech, | will now let you pass even
though you said you totally didn’t see that
tree in the middle of the road.”
Download a car driving simulator app
Ifyou want do not want to get yelled at
by your mom or dad (or both at the same
time) when failing at parallel parking, then
a driving simulator app is just the thing for
you. With the app you can do tons of crazy
cool things. Beating the red light without
getting caught or fined, for example. You
could also drive cars that you know you
cannot afford for the rest of your life.
That’s right my friends, I just got myself a
customized Ferrari SFgo Stradale
Wait fora mass promotion
Who wouldnt like that? Giving all L
drivers a promotion would totally be nice.
It’s not their fault that they have to wait
indefinitely. I mean this quarantine could
possibly last a lifetime. Besides, what could
possibly go wrong?
Practicing honking your horn at other
drivers and giving the finger
You know what really grinds my gears?
Drivers who don't do a full stop before a
stop line or a stop sign. They may feel safe
in disobeying the rules because they’re
used to it—but that’s not the case for other
drivers they might encounter... especially
HOW TO WEAR
A MASK
WHEN OUT
IN PUBLIC
those new ones. These outlaws somehow
deserve to be honked at. But the people
who steal your parking—they deserve the
finger.
Read those driving books
You could be the very first person to ever
read ICBC’s driving manuals. Let me know
if you made it so that I can feature you in
the Other Press World Records.
Illustration by Athena Little
Be mad at yourself for not passing it the
first try
You could’ve been driving on the streets
of Vancouver by now, but what did you
do? You failed. Thrice! And now that road
tests are suspended indefinitely and your
license is about to expire, you are left with
no choice but to blame that person behind
the wheel.
LN
Have an idea for a story?
M humour@theotherpress.ca
humour // no. 17
¢ How to practice for your road test while
quarantined at home
¢ How to wear a mask when out in public
..and that's everything!
How to practice for your road test
while quarantined at home
» Every good driver knows how to flip the finger
EG Manilag
Staff Writer
f you were or are planning on taking
your road test, you probably have already
realized that right now is not exactly
the ideal time for the quiz. You can still
practice though! Here are some tips on how
to get ready for your eventual road test.
Practice a speech for your driving
instructor
Why stress yourself practicing behind
the wheel to get that license when you
can just talk your way out of it? Just write
something persuasive, utilitarian, and
emotional. That will definitely get the
instructor hooked. And they might say
something along the lines of “great job and
great speech, | will now let you pass even
though you said you totally didn’t see that
tree in the middle of the road.”
Download a car driving simulator app
Ifyou want do not want to get yelled at
by your mom or dad (or both at the same
time) when failing at parallel parking, then
a driving simulator app is just the thing for
you. With the app you can do tons of crazy
cool things. Beating the red light without
getting caught or fined, for example. You
could also drive cars that you know you
cannot afford for the rest of your life.
That’s right my friends, I just got myself a
customized Ferrari SFgo Stradale
Wait fora mass promotion
Who wouldnt like that? Giving all L
drivers a promotion would totally be nice.
It’s not their fault that they have to wait
indefinitely. I mean this quarantine could
possibly last a lifetime. Besides, what could
possibly go wrong?
Practicing honking your horn at other
drivers and giving the finger
You know what really grinds my gears?
Drivers who don't do a full stop before a
stop line or a stop sign. They may feel safe
in disobeying the rules because they’re
used to it—but that’s not the case for other
drivers they might encounter... especially
HOW TO WEAR
A MASK
WHEN OUT
IN PUBLIC
those new ones. These outlaws somehow
deserve to be honked at. But the people
who steal your parking—they deserve the
finger.
Read those driving books
You could be the very first person to ever
read ICBC’s driving manuals. Let me know
if you made it so that I can feature you in
the Other Press World Records.
Illustration by Athena Little
Be mad at yourself for not passing it the
first try
You could’ve been driving on the streets
of Vancouver by now, but what did you
do? You failed. Thrice! And now that road
tests are suspended indefinitely and your
license is about to expire, you are left with
no choice but to blame that person behind
the wheel.
Edited Text
i 10
LN
Have an idea for a story?
M humour@theotherpress.ca
humour // no. 17
¢ How to practice for your road test while
quarantined at home
¢ How to wear a mask when out in public
..and that's everything!
How to practice for your road test
while quarantined at home
» Every good driver knows how to flip the finger
EG Manilag
Staff Writer
f you were or are planning on taking
your road test, you probably have already
realized that right now is not exactly
the ideal time for the quiz. You can still
practice though! Here are some tips on how
to get ready for your eventual road test.
Practice a speech for your driving
instructor
Why stress yourself practicing behind
the wheel to get that license when you
can just talk your way out of it? Just write
something persuasive, utilitarian, and
emotional. That will definitely get the
instructor hooked. And they might say
something along the lines of “great job and
great speech, | will now let you pass even
though you said you totally didn’t see that
tree in the middle of the road.”
Download a car driving simulator app
Ifyou want do not want to get yelled at
by your mom or dad (or both at the same
time) when failing at parallel parking, then
a driving simulator app is just the thing for
you. With the app you can do tons of crazy
cool things. Beating the red light without
getting caught or fined, for example. You
could also drive cars that you know you
cannot afford for the rest of your life.
That’s right my friends, I just got myself a
customized Ferrari SFgo Stradale
Wait fora mass promotion
Who wouldnt like that? Giving all L
drivers a promotion would totally be nice.
It’s not their fault that they have to wait
indefinitely. I mean this quarantine could
possibly last a lifetime. Besides, what could
possibly go wrong?
Practicing honking your horn at other
drivers and giving the finger
You know what really grinds my gears?
Drivers who don't do a full stop before a
stop line or a stop sign. They may feel safe
in disobeying the rules because they’re
used to it—but that’s not the case for other
drivers they might encounter... especially
HOW TO WEAR
A MASK
WHEN OUT
IN PUBLIC
those new ones. These outlaws somehow
deserve to be honked at. But the people
who steal your parking—they deserve the
finger.
Read those driving books
You could be the very first person to ever
read ICBC’s driving manuals. Let me know
if you made it so that I can feature you in
the Other Press World Records.
Illustration by Athena Little
Be mad at yourself for not passing it the
first try
You could’ve been driving on the streets
of Vancouver by now, but what did you
do? You failed. Thrice! And now that road
tests are suspended indefinitely and your
license is about to expire, you are left with
no choice but to blame that person behind
the wheel.
LN
Have an idea for a story?
M humour@theotherpress.ca
humour // no. 17
¢ How to practice for your road test while
quarantined at home
¢ How to wear a mask when out in public
..and that's everything!
How to practice for your road test
while quarantined at home
» Every good driver knows how to flip the finger
EG Manilag
Staff Writer
f you were or are planning on taking
your road test, you probably have already
realized that right now is not exactly
the ideal time for the quiz. You can still
practice though! Here are some tips on how
to get ready for your eventual road test.
Practice a speech for your driving
instructor
Why stress yourself practicing behind
the wheel to get that license when you
can just talk your way out of it? Just write
something persuasive, utilitarian, and
emotional. That will definitely get the
instructor hooked. And they might say
something along the lines of “great job and
great speech, | will now let you pass even
though you said you totally didn’t see that
tree in the middle of the road.”
Download a car driving simulator app
Ifyou want do not want to get yelled at
by your mom or dad (or both at the same
time) when failing at parallel parking, then
a driving simulator app is just the thing for
you. With the app you can do tons of crazy
cool things. Beating the red light without
getting caught or fined, for example. You
could also drive cars that you know you
cannot afford for the rest of your life.
That’s right my friends, I just got myself a
customized Ferrari SFgo Stradale
Wait fora mass promotion
Who wouldnt like that? Giving all L
drivers a promotion would totally be nice.
It’s not their fault that they have to wait
indefinitely. I mean this quarantine could
possibly last a lifetime. Besides, what could
possibly go wrong?
Practicing honking your horn at other
drivers and giving the finger
You know what really grinds my gears?
Drivers who don't do a full stop before a
stop line or a stop sign. They may feel safe
in disobeying the rules because they’re
used to it—but that’s not the case for other
drivers they might encounter... especially
HOW TO WEAR
A MASK
WHEN OUT
IN PUBLIC
those new ones. These outlaws somehow
deserve to be honked at. But the people
who steal your parking—they deserve the
finger.
Read those driving books
You could be the very first person to ever
read ICBC’s driving manuals. Let me know
if you made it so that I can feature you in
the Other Press World Records.
Illustration by Athena Little
Be mad at yourself for not passing it the
first try
You could’ve been driving on the streets
of Vancouver by now, but what did you
do? You failed. Thrice! And now that road
tests are suspended indefinitely and your
license is about to expire, you are left with
no choice but to blame that person behind
the wheel.
LN
Have an idea for a story?
M humour@theotherpress.ca
humour // no. 17
¢ How to practice for your road test while
quarantined at home
¢ How to wear a mask when out in public
..and that's everything!
How to practice for your road test
while quarantined at home
» Every good driver knows how to flip the finger
EG Manilag
Staff Writer
f you were or are planning on taking
your road test, you probably have already
realized that right now is not exactly
the ideal time for the quiz. You can still
practice though! Here are some tips on how
to get ready for your eventual road test.
Practice a speech for your driving
instructor
Why stress yourself practicing behind
the wheel to get that license when you
can just talk your way out of it? Just write
something persuasive, utilitarian, and
emotional. That will definitely get the
instructor hooked. And they might say
something along the lines of “great job and
great speech, | will now let you pass even
though you said you totally didn’t see that
tree in the middle of the road.”
Download a car driving simulator app
Ifyou want do not want to get yelled at
by your mom or dad (or both at the same
time) when failing at parallel parking, then
a driving simulator app is just the thing for
you. With the app you can do tons of crazy
cool things. Beating the red light without
getting caught or fined, for example. You
could also drive cars that you know you
cannot afford for the rest of your life.
That’s right my friends, I just got myself a
customized Ferrari SFgo Stradale
Wait fora mass promotion
Who wouldnt like that? Giving all L
drivers a promotion would totally be nice.
It’s not their fault that they have to wait
indefinitely. I mean this quarantine could
possibly last a lifetime. Besides, what could
possibly go wrong?
Practicing honking your horn at other
drivers and giving the finger
You know what really grinds my gears?
Drivers who don't do a full stop before a
stop line or a stop sign. They may feel safe
in disobeying the rules because they’re
used to it—but that’s not the case for other
drivers they might encounter... especially
HOW TO WEAR
A MASK
WHEN OUT
IN PUBLIC
those new ones. These outlaws somehow
deserve to be honked at. But the people
who steal your parking—they deserve the
finger.
Read those driving books
You could be the very first person to ever
read ICBC’s driving manuals. Let me know
if you made it so that I can feature you in
the Other Press World Records.
Illustration by Athena Little
Be mad at yourself for not passing it the
first try
You could’ve been driving on the streets
of Vancouver by now, but what did you
do? You failed. Thrice! And now that road
tests are suspended indefinitely and your
license is about to expire, you are left with
no choice but to blame that person behind
the wheel.
LN
Have an idea for a story?
M humour@theotherpress.ca
humour // no. 17
¢ How to practice for your road test while
quarantined at home
¢ How to wear a mask when out in public
..and that's everything!
How to practice for your road test
while quarantined at home
» Every good driver knows how to flip the finger
EG Manilag
Staff Writer
f you were or are planning on taking
your road test, you probably have already
realized that right now is not exactly
the ideal time for the quiz. You can still
practice though! Here are some tips on how
to get ready for your eventual road test.
Practice a speech for your driving
instructor
Why stress yourself practicing behind
the wheel to get that license when you
can just talk your way out of it? Just write
something persuasive, utilitarian, and
emotional. That will definitely get the
instructor hooked. And they might say
something along the lines of “great job and
great speech, | will now let you pass even
though you said you totally didn’t see that
tree in the middle of the road.”
Download a car driving simulator app
Ifyou want do not want to get yelled at
by your mom or dad (or both at the same
time) when failing at parallel parking, then
a driving simulator app is just the thing for
you. With the app you can do tons of crazy
cool things. Beating the red light without
getting caught or fined, for example. You
could also drive cars that you know you
cannot afford for the rest of your life.
That’s right my friends, I just got myself a
customized Ferrari SFgo Stradale
Wait fora mass promotion
Who wouldnt like that? Giving all L
drivers a promotion would totally be nice.
It’s not their fault that they have to wait
indefinitely. I mean this quarantine could
possibly last a lifetime. Besides, what could
possibly go wrong?
Practicing honking your horn at other
drivers and giving the finger
You know what really grinds my gears?
Drivers who don't do a full stop before a
stop line or a stop sign. They may feel safe
in disobeying the rules because they’re
used to it—but that’s not the case for other
drivers they might encounter... especially
HOW TO WEAR
A MASK
WHEN OUT
IN PUBLIC
those new ones. These outlaws somehow
deserve to be honked at. But the people
who steal your parking—they deserve the
finger.
Read those driving books
You could be the very first person to ever
read ICBC’s driving manuals. Let me know
if you made it so that I can feature you in
the Other Press World Records.
Illustration by Athena Little
Be mad at yourself for not passing it the
first try
You could’ve been driving on the streets
of Vancouver by now, but what did you
do? You failed. Thrice! And now that road
tests are suspended indefinitely and your
license is about to expire, you are left with
no choice but to blame that person behind
the wheel.