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File
Wilson
Modest Perfection
I’m really not conceited
I’m as humble as can be
I'm also truly perfect
I_ mean just look at me
My chiseled features
Are the best
As anybody
Can attest
These washboard abs
Those buns of steel
I guarantee
It’s all quite real
I’m also quite the genius
Which anyone could see
I even know such words
As tracheotomy
I'll refrain from getting started
On all the words I know
But let me tell you brother
They're as big as big words go
I’m not too short
I’m not too tall
I'm not too big
I’m not too small
Like I said I’m perfect
From looks to brains to wit
And everyone should know
That brother I’m the shit
Which by the way smells sweeter
As youd naturally assume
If they could bottle up the scent
They‘ sell it as perfume
I’m also quite benevolent
I’m gracious, kind and good
Pll watch out for lesser beings
As a perfect creature should
I really am quite wonderful
Splendid, sinless, sheer
Immaculate and flawless
My thesaurus made that clear
But how can I be sure
That I’m as perfect as they come?
Well it’s tough with modest nature
But I was told so by my mom.
By Darren Paterson
20 | OtherPress
June
Illustration by J.J. McCullough
2004
Modest Perfection
I’m really not conceited
I’m as humble as can be
I'm also truly perfect
I_ mean just look at me
My chiseled features
Are the best
As anybody
Can attest
These washboard abs
Those buns of steel
I guarantee
It’s all quite real
I’m also quite the genius
Which anyone could see
I even know such words
As tracheotomy
I'll refrain from getting started
On all the words I know
But let me tell you brother
They're as big as big words go
I’m not too short
I’m not too tall
I'm not too big
I’m not too small
Like I said I’m perfect
From looks to brains to wit
And everyone should know
That brother I’m the shit
Which by the way smells sweeter
As youd naturally assume
If they could bottle up the scent
They‘ sell it as perfume
I’m also quite benevolent
I’m gracious, kind and good
Pll watch out for lesser beings
As a perfect creature should
I really am quite wonderful
Splendid, sinless, sheer
Immaculate and flawless
My thesaurus made that clear
But how can I be sure
That I’m as perfect as they come?
Well it’s tough with modest nature
But I was told so by my mom.
By Darren Paterson
20 | OtherPress
June
Illustration by J.J. McCullough
2004
Edited Text
Wilson
Modest Perfection
I’m really not conceited
I’m as humble as can be
I'm also truly perfect
I_ mean just look at me
My chiseled features
Are the best
As anybody
Can attest
These washboard abs
Those buns of steel
I guarantee
It’s all quite real
I’m also quite the genius
Which anyone could see
I even know such words
As tracheotomy
I'll refrain from getting started
On all the words I know
But let me tell you brother
They're as big as big words go
I’m not too short
I’m not too tall
I'm not too big
I’m not too small
Like I said I’m perfect
From looks to brains to wit
And everyone should know
That brother I’m the shit
Which by the way smells sweeter
As youd naturally assume
If they could bottle up the scent
They‘ sell it as perfume
I’m also quite benevolent
I’m gracious, kind and good
Pll watch out for lesser beings
As a perfect creature should
I really am quite wonderful
Splendid, sinless, sheer
Immaculate and flawless
My thesaurus made that clear
But how can I be sure
That I’m as perfect as they come?
Well it’s tough with modest nature
But I was told so by my mom.
By Darren Paterson
20 | OtherPress
June
Illustration by J.J. McCullough
2004
Modest Perfection
I’m really not conceited
I’m as humble as can be
I'm also truly perfect
I_ mean just look at me
My chiseled features
Are the best
As anybody
Can attest
These washboard abs
Those buns of steel
I guarantee
It’s all quite real
I’m also quite the genius
Which anyone could see
I even know such words
As tracheotomy
I'll refrain from getting started
On all the words I know
But let me tell you brother
They're as big as big words go
I’m not too short
I’m not too tall
I'm not too big
I’m not too small
Like I said I’m perfect
From looks to brains to wit
And everyone should know
That brother I’m the shit
Which by the way smells sweeter
As youd naturally assume
If they could bottle up the scent
They‘ sell it as perfume
I’m also quite benevolent
I’m gracious, kind and good
Pll watch out for lesser beings
As a perfect creature should
I really am quite wonderful
Splendid, sinless, sheer
Immaculate and flawless
My thesaurus made that clear
But how can I be sure
That I’m as perfect as they come?
Well it’s tough with modest nature
But I was told so by my mom.
By Darren Paterson
20 | OtherPress
June
Illustration by J.J. McCullough
2004
Modest Perfection
I’m really not conceited
I’m as humble as can be
I'm also truly perfect
I_ mean just look at me
My chiseled features
Are the best
As anybody
Can attest
These washboard abs
Those buns of steel
I guarantee
It’s all quite real
I’m also quite the genius
Which anyone could see
I even know such words
As tracheotomy
I'll refrain from getting started
On all the words I know
But let me tell you brother
They're as big as big words go
I’m not too short
I’m not too tall
I'm not too big
I’m not too small
Like I said I’m perfect
From looks to brains to wit
And everyone should know
That brother I’m the shit
Which by the way smells sweeter
As youd naturally assume
If they could bottle up the scent
They‘ sell it as perfume
I’m also quite benevolent
I’m gracious, kind and good
Pll watch out for lesser beings
As a perfect creature should
I really am quite wonderful
Splendid, sinless, sheer
Immaculate and flawless
My thesaurus made that clear
But how can I be sure
That I’m as perfect as they come?
Well it’s tough with modest nature
But I was told so by my mom.
By Darren Paterson
20 | OtherPress
June
Illustration by J.J. McCullough
2004
Modest Perfection
I’m really not conceited
I’m as humble as can be
I'm also truly perfect
I_ mean just look at me
My chiseled features
Are the best
As anybody
Can attest
These washboard abs
Those buns of steel
I guarantee
It’s all quite real
I’m also quite the genius
Which anyone could see
I even know such words
As tracheotomy
I'll refrain from getting started
On all the words I know
But let me tell you brother
They're as big as big words go
I’m not too short
I’m not too tall
I'm not too big
I’m not too small
Like I said I’m perfect
From looks to brains to wit
And everyone should know
That brother I’m the shit
Which by the way smells sweeter
As youd naturally assume
If they could bottle up the scent
They‘ sell it as perfume
I’m also quite benevolent
I’m gracious, kind and good
Pll watch out for lesser beings
As a perfect creature should
I really am quite wonderful
Splendid, sinless, sheer
Immaculate and flawless
My thesaurus made that clear
But how can I be sure
That I’m as perfect as they come?
Well it’s tough with modest nature
But I was told so by my mom.
By Darren Paterson
20 | OtherPress
June
Illustration by J.J. McCullough
2004