OtherPress2004June.pdf-20

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Image
File
Wilson



Modest Perfection

I’m really not conceited
I’m as humble as can be
I'm also truly perfect

I_ mean just look at me

My chiseled features
Are the best

As anybody

Can attest

These washboard abs
Those buns of steel
I guarantee

It’s all quite real

I’m also quite the genius
Which anyone could see
I even know such words
As tracheotomy

I'll refrain from getting started
On all the words I know

But let me tell you brother
They're as big as big words go

I’m not too short
I’m not too tall
I'm not too big
I’m not too small

Like I said I’m perfect
From looks to brains to wit
And everyone should know
That brother I’m the shit

Which by the way smells sweeter
As youd naturally assume
If they could bottle up the scent
They‘ sell it as perfume

I’m also quite benevolent

I’m gracious, kind and good
Pll watch out for lesser beings
As a perfect creature should

I really am quite wonderful
Splendid, sinless, sheer
Immaculate and flawless

My thesaurus made that clear

But how can I be sure

That I’m as perfect as they come?
Well it’s tough with modest nature
But I was told so by my mom.

By Darren Paterson

20 | OtherPress



June

Illustration by J.J. McCullough

2004


Edited Text
Wilson



Modest Perfection

I’m really not conceited
I’m as humble as can be
I'm also truly perfect

I_ mean just look at me

My chiseled features
Are the best

As anybody

Can attest

These washboard abs
Those buns of steel
I guarantee

It’s all quite real

I’m also quite the genius
Which anyone could see
I even know such words
As tracheotomy

I'll refrain from getting started
On all the words I know

But let me tell you brother
They're as big as big words go

I’m not too short
I’m not too tall
I'm not too big
I’m not too small

Like I said I’m perfect
From looks to brains to wit
And everyone should know
That brother I’m the shit

Which by the way smells sweeter
As youd naturally assume
If they could bottle up the scent
They‘ sell it as perfume

I’m also quite benevolent

I’m gracious, kind and good
Pll watch out for lesser beings
As a perfect creature should

I really am quite wonderful
Splendid, sinless, sheer
Immaculate and flawless

My thesaurus made that clear

But how can I be sure

That I’m as perfect as they come?
Well it’s tough with modest nature
But I was told so by my mom.

By Darren Paterson

20 | OtherPress



June

Illustration by J.J. McCullough

2004


File
Wilson



Modest Perfection

I’m really not conceited
I’m as humble as can be
I'm also truly perfect

I_ mean just look at me

My chiseled features
Are the best

As anybody

Can attest

These washboard abs
Those buns of steel
I guarantee

It’s all quite real

I’m also quite the genius
Which anyone could see
I even know such words
As tracheotomy

I'll refrain from getting started
On all the words I know

But let me tell you brother
They're as big as big words go

I’m not too short
I’m not too tall
I'm not too big
I’m not too small

Like I said I’m perfect
From looks to brains to wit
And everyone should know
That brother I’m the shit

Which by the way smells sweeter
As youd naturally assume
If they could bottle up the scent
They‘ sell it as perfume

I’m also quite benevolent

I’m gracious, kind and good
Pll watch out for lesser beings
As a perfect creature should

I really am quite wonderful
Splendid, sinless, sheer
Immaculate and flawless

My thesaurus made that clear

But how can I be sure

That I’m as perfect as they come?
Well it’s tough with modest nature
But I was told so by my mom.

By Darren Paterson

20 | OtherPress



June

Illustration by J.J. McCullough

2004


Edited Text
Wilson



Modest Perfection

I’m really not conceited
I’m as humble as can be
I'm also truly perfect

I_ mean just look at me

My chiseled features
Are the best

As anybody

Can attest

These washboard abs
Those buns of steel
I guarantee

It’s all quite real

I’m also quite the genius
Which anyone could see
I even know such words
As tracheotomy

I'll refrain from getting started
On all the words I know

But let me tell you brother
They're as big as big words go

I’m not too short
I’m not too tall
I'm not too big
I’m not too small

Like I said I’m perfect
From looks to brains to wit
And everyone should know
That brother I’m the shit

Which by the way smells sweeter
As youd naturally assume
If they could bottle up the scent
They‘ sell it as perfume

I’m also quite benevolent

I’m gracious, kind and good
Pll watch out for lesser beings
As a perfect creature should

I really am quite wonderful
Splendid, sinless, sheer
Immaculate and flawless

My thesaurus made that clear

But how can I be sure

That I’m as perfect as they come?
Well it’s tough with modest nature
But I was told so by my mom.

By Darren Paterson

20 | OtherPress



June

Illustration by J.J. McCullough

2004


File
Wilson



Modest Perfection

I’m really not conceited
I’m as humble as can be
I'm also truly perfect

I_ mean just look at me

My chiseled features
Are the best

As anybody

Can attest

These washboard abs
Those buns of steel
I guarantee

It’s all quite real

I’m also quite the genius
Which anyone could see
I even know such words
As tracheotomy

I'll refrain from getting started
On all the words I know

But let me tell you brother
They're as big as big words go

I’m not too short
I’m not too tall
I'm not too big
I’m not too small

Like I said I’m perfect
From looks to brains to wit
And everyone should know
That brother I’m the shit

Which by the way smells sweeter
As youd naturally assume
If they could bottle up the scent
They‘ sell it as perfume

I’m also quite benevolent

I’m gracious, kind and good
Pll watch out for lesser beings
As a perfect creature should

I really am quite wonderful
Splendid, sinless, sheer
Immaculate and flawless

My thesaurus made that clear

But how can I be sure

That I’m as perfect as they come?
Well it’s tough with modest nature
But I was told so by my mom.

By Darren Paterson

20 | OtherPress



June

Illustration by J.J. McCullough

2004


Edited Text
Wilson



Modest Perfection

I’m really not conceited
I’m as humble as can be
I'm also truly perfect

I_ mean just look at me

My chiseled features
Are the best

As anybody

Can attest

These washboard abs
Those buns of steel
I guarantee

It’s all quite real

I’m also quite the genius
Which anyone could see
I even know such words
As tracheotomy

I'll refrain from getting started
On all the words I know

But let me tell you brother
They're as big as big words go

I’m not too short
I’m not too tall
I'm not too big
I’m not too small

Like I said I’m perfect
From looks to brains to wit
And everyone should know
That brother I’m the shit

Which by the way smells sweeter
As youd naturally assume
If they could bottle up the scent
They‘ sell it as perfume

I’m also quite benevolent

I’m gracious, kind and good
Pll watch out for lesser beings
As a perfect creature should

I really am quite wonderful
Splendid, sinless, sheer
Immaculate and flawless

My thesaurus made that clear

But how can I be sure

That I’m as perfect as they come?
Well it’s tough with modest nature
But I was told so by my mom.

By Darren Paterson

20 | OtherPress



June

Illustration by J.J. McCullough

2004


File
Wilson



Modest Perfection

I’m really not conceited
I’m as humble as can be
I'm also truly perfect

I_ mean just look at me

My chiseled features
Are the best

As anybody

Can attest

These washboard abs
Those buns of steel
I guarantee

It’s all quite real

I’m also quite the genius
Which anyone could see
I even know such words
As tracheotomy

I'll refrain from getting started
On all the words I know

But let me tell you brother
They're as big as big words go

I’m not too short
I’m not too tall
I'm not too big
I’m not too small

Like I said I’m perfect
From looks to brains to wit
And everyone should know
That brother I’m the shit

Which by the way smells sweeter
As youd naturally assume
If they could bottle up the scent
They‘ sell it as perfume

I’m also quite benevolent

I’m gracious, kind and good
Pll watch out for lesser beings
As a perfect creature should

I really am quite wonderful
Splendid, sinless, sheer
Immaculate and flawless

My thesaurus made that clear

But how can I be sure

That I’m as perfect as they come?
Well it’s tough with modest nature
But I was told so by my mom.

By Darren Paterson

20 | OtherPress



June

Illustration by J.J. McCullough

2004


Edited Text
Wilson



Modest Perfection

I’m really not conceited
I’m as humble as can be
I'm also truly perfect

I_ mean just look at me

My chiseled features
Are the best

As anybody

Can attest

These washboard abs
Those buns of steel
I guarantee

It’s all quite real

I’m also quite the genius
Which anyone could see
I even know such words
As tracheotomy

I'll refrain from getting started
On all the words I know

But let me tell you brother
They're as big as big words go

I’m not too short
I’m not too tall
I'm not too big
I’m not too small

Like I said I’m perfect
From looks to brains to wit
And everyone should know
That brother I’m the shit

Which by the way smells sweeter
As youd naturally assume
If they could bottle up the scent
They‘ sell it as perfume

I’m also quite benevolent

I’m gracious, kind and good
Pll watch out for lesser beings
As a perfect creature should

I really am quite wonderful
Splendid, sinless, sheer
Immaculate and flawless

My thesaurus made that clear

But how can I be sure

That I’m as perfect as they come?
Well it’s tough with modest nature
But I was told so by my mom.

By Darren Paterson

20 | OtherPress



June

Illustration by J.J. McCullough

2004


Cite this

“OtherPress2004June.Pdf-20”. The Other Press, June 1, 2004. Accessed August 28, 2025. Handle placeholder.

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